A close friend should be her I.V.F. Injections at the same time but she decided to reschedule at the last minute because Covid cases were so high in our area. At this point we were so driven by our pursuit of pregnancy that I was shocked when I heard her say this because the thought had never crossed my mind.
I am not sure if I was exposed to the virus at any time during this last fertility treatment. The surgical center is located on a large medical campus that also has a Covid-19 test drive in the garage where we parked. We also waited outside the building wearing masks for almost an hour, which we thought was a safer choice than the fertility clinic waiting room, but that actually put us close to many sick people waiting to be driven home.
I also had to remove my mask just before the actual egg retrieval as I was under anesthesia and the doctors needed quick access to my mouth in case I needed a breathing tube.
Five days after the egg collection we found that we were Covid positive. I immediately called the clinic to warn them. The fertility doctor told me a few days later that none of her staff members had gotten sick. And also that none of the eggs they took from me had developed properly. We didn’t have to use embryos.
Of course, as anyone who has performed fertility treatments knows, all the dangers and risks we took would have been “worth” had it worked. Because it didn’t work for us, I felt defeated and stupid.
All in all, we wanted to give Goldie a sibling, but this could have threatened her mother’s life. That thought haunts me and will stay with me forever, although I will never know how exactly the virus got into our home.
Our nanny, who also had Covid symptoms and tested positive three days before us, could have picked it up at the supermarket. We could have got it from her or while we were walking around our neighborhood or playing in the park. But the decision to keep opting for fertility treatments while the pandemic rages on leaves me with doubt and regret.